


The Impossible

by slainesplushass



Series: Aldnoah.Infinity [1]
Category: Aldnoah.Zero (Anime)
Genre: Angst, M/M, reuploaded
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-14
Updated: 2015-05-14
Packaged: 2018-03-30 14:06:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3939649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slainesplushass/pseuds/slainesplushass
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>7 months after Slaine's "death" Harklight visits the beach.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Impossible

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [ocean blue](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3373298) by [route1984](https://archiveofourown.org/users/route1984/pseuds/route1984). 



> Remade my ao3 and im reuploading this. REVAMPED IT dis the final version (typo fixes if i find any r the only thing i will change about it)

It was truly beautiful. The sun shining and reflecting its rays on the surface of the water. The gentle warm sea breeze. The colourful rocks and seashells on the beach.  
And yet this beautiful scenery brought nothing but sorrow into Harklight’s heart.  
As he stood knee deep in the water, memories flooded his thoughts as he stared at the horizon wondering what the water would feel like. He remembers how a little less than half a year ago, he was still by Slaine’s side. How despite the fact that their time together was 2 years, he felt as if it was short lived. He was always next to Slaine, helping him calculate each and every possibility, helping him earn the other Counts’ trust and making sure he was alright.  
His concern however had caused him to feel very sad for the boy. He remembers their brief encounter when they were children, living in the slums, his dad forced to work for Vers. He remembers seeing those blonde locks again, years later and realising that their kind can thrive too and that maybe, just maybe the lower class scum could have futures too. Slaine’s dreams were to help them, to liberate them and to make people like him, people like Harklight equal to the counts and nobles. He wanted to win the war and establish Earthspace, so he could provide for the people like him and Harklight.  
Those were noble goals, fit for a noble heart.  
But Slaine’s heart was not noble, it was broken. His eyes were full of grief and pain Harklight could only hope to understand and it seemed the young boy was only driven by the force of his own love for Asseylum. But what he remembers the most are Slaine’s screams at night. He didn’t know what would cause Slaine to have such vivid nightmares, enough to make him scream, but the fact that Slaine was a Terran and also the child of Alexander Troyard gave him an idea. He knew that they hurt Slaine, he knew and it felt like agony because he knew he couldn’t hold him, he couldn’t comfort him and protect him.  
He was just a servant now.  
He remembers how he would always find Slaine in the room where Asseylum was kept alive. He would be explaining things about Terra to her, as if she were awake.  
He was wondering if Slaine was going insane.  
He was wondering if he himself was going insane.  
Looking at those beautiful blond locks, that loving gaze in Slaine’s eyes, the way his lips moved as he passionately talked about flowers, birds, gemstones and places. Harklight was mesmerised by him and yet he knew his master’s heart would never belong to him.  
But he still knew that ever since their first meeting as children, Harklight had loved Slaine and he still did.  
Harklight remembers the first time he caught him during one of those ramblings. Slaine was talking about the ocean. Pictures of seashells, beaches full of people and undersea scenery floated above him, as he passionately talked about the biggest advantage Terra had over Vers. It reminded him of when they first met all those years ago. He had heard screams outside of his family’s room, and he had ran to see what was happening, only to see some teens were pushing and hitting a young blonde child who looked no older than 7, calling him filthy and disgusting and a terran. Harklight immediately ran over and intervened only to receive several bruises and a broken nose. On the other hand they had left him and the boy alone. He remembers gently holding the smaller crying boy, and walking him back to his and his father’s room. After that, they would sneak out of the rooms they lived in, and would play together in the dimly lit hallways of Vers. Slaine would always bring books and toys that he kept from Earth, and they would read and play together until they could barely stay awake.  
And now, listening to Slaine telling Asseylum those very same things he had told him all those years ago had reminded Harklight of when they were younger. For a brief moment, Slaine had caught Harklight staring but he hadn’t said anything until much later. He probably assumed Harklight was listening to his ramblings about the ocean, rather than simply his voice.  
But in that case, Slaine would be wrong.  
“It’s beautiful isn’t it?” Slaine had said in his chambers, hours afterwards. He was preparing to retire for the day, and Harklight was helping him in doing so as usual, folding his uniform and putting it away.  
“Hm?” was Harklight's response, a simple questioning sound.  
“The ocean. I’ve only been there once, when I was 4. It was a long time ago but…”  
Harklight remembers how Slaine’s voice cracked slightly as he recalled those memories. He looked like he was about to tear up and yet his smile didn’t falter for one second.  
Harklight thought that maybe he would understand someday. Maybe he would understand why Slaine would want to weep because someone who did nothing but neglect him during the years where he needed him most was gone.  
“I loved the ocean. The way the horizon made it look like it merged with the sky and sun. I was very mesmerised by it, even if papa didn’t allow me to go in too deep. I was only a child after all.” Slaine said with a note of fondness worming itself into his voice.  
There was silence between them as Harklight put away Slaine’s uniform and began making his bed while Slaine was getting himself dressed in his sleepwear behind him.  
Slaine sat down and didn’t say anything else. He seemed to be deep in thought, and he glanced at Harklight a few times, as if to ask a question but the words never left his lips.  
Harklight knew Slaine wanted to tell him something, but despite his curiosity, despite his heart skipping a beat every time Slaine glanced at him, he didn’t dare demand for Slaine to say the unspoken words between them, and instead just folded up Slaine’s clothes and put them in their place. Once he was done, Slaine dismissed him with a single wave of the arm. Harklight turned around to leave but right as he was about to walk through the doorway, he was stopped by a sudden “Wait.”  
He wondered why Slaine would dismiss him only to call him back immediately, but he didn’t mind. He turned around to face his master, as if to not be rude. Slaine was now laying down in his bed, covered in blankets and resting his head on a soft pillow. His eyes looked tired and yet soft and gentle. The way his beautiful hair covered his face made him look much younger than he was. Harklight felt blood rush to his cheeks, as the thought of him waking up to that face wormed itself into his brain. His thoughts were interrupted when Slaine’s soft voice broke the silence. “When all of this is over… do you want to go to the beach with me? We can look at all the beautiful things there together.”  
Harklight felt a lightning bolt strike his heart as the words echoed through his ears. He wanted to say many things but he simply said “Yes, sir.”  
He remembers how Slaine smiled softly and how his eyelashes gently tickled his cheeks as he closed his eyes. Slaine dismissed Harklight again, and Harklight simply left without a second word. And now he was here. The vast sea, which was unheard of on Vers was now in front of him.  
It truly did look like it merged with the sky. The sun looked like a beautiful golden necklace, adorning the upper atmosphere. The sound of the waves blended with the laughter of the people on the beach, despite them being at a rather secluded section. He could even hear Bianca and Anika bickering with Kvar about something in the background. They were the ones who dragged him out here after all.  
He felt the cold sensation of water on his feet, as he walked deeper and deeper until it barely reached above his knees.  
He should be happy. That he survived. That he had decided to fight for justice and liberty. That he was a leader now, with people who supported him, who cared for him.  
But he didn’t. The sea’s horizon looked like an unreachable goal, the sun looked like the searing explosion that had scarred his torso permanently, and the cold water at his feet felt like agony and loneliness.  
Cold, cold loneliness.  
His thoughts got filled with visions of what could’ve been, of a sky that didn’t bring sorrow, of a world that wasn’t so cruel, of beautiful blue eyes and blonde locks.  
his thoughts were interrupted when he felt a slap on his back and a “Yo Chief!” exclaimed at him.  
“Alex got us some ice cream, go and eat some before it melts!” the person continued.  
He was really not in the mood for his teammate’s nonsense so he simply uttered a “No.” at her without even looking in her direction.  
He could hear the girl next to him sighing and making a soft disgruntled noise. “Oh come on chief, what’s got your jimmies rustled? Seriously, you’ve been so down recently!” She said as she walked in front of him so he could face her. She obviously didn’t enjoy him not entertaining her usual nonsense.  
Harklight stared at her with cold eyes. “Leave, Bianca.” was all he could muster before he pushed her aside to admire his view.  
“Jeez you sure are grumpy for someone who finally got to see the ocean.” she muttered under her nose.  
She walked up next to him and stared at the horizon too, trying to figure out what was so special. I mean they were on the beach all morning, surely he has already admired the sights enough? After all, she remembers how he told her that Sir Troyard had told him all about-  
Oh..  
_Oh_  
That would explain why he was so on edge with his team recently. He had insisted on doing his work all week until they eventually barely got him to come to the beach. They thought it would be good for him. bianca thought it would be good for him. but now she realised how wrong she was and how instead of letting Harklight work in peace, she had just reminded him of one of his biggest failures.  
He failed to protect Slaine troyard.  
“Chief…” Bianca sighed out, now shifting her focus onto Harklight’s eyes who still didn’t look back at her. ”Come on. Smile. You really wanted to see the ocean didn’t you?” she said, trying to keep her voice at a happy tone hopefully so she could somehow cheer him up.  
“Not anymore.” was Harklight’s cold and stern reply.  
_‘God what have I done’_ she thought to herself. She had distracted him from his goal, from his work for a silly day at the beach. Harklight had been so selfless to them, working and fighting and she didn’t even think about how he would feel. Bianca could do nothing to alleviate his pain but maybe, she would understand. She gently placed her palm on the other’s shoulder and pretended not to notice the tears forming in his eyes. She said nothing as silence engulfed them both.  
His eyes were permanently fixed on the horizon in front of them.  
On a goal that can’t be achieved. On a dream that can’t be real.  
On a miracle.  
On the impossible.  
The background chatter of the rest of the beach-goers started feeling like white noise.  
“Hey…Chief?” Bianca’s soft voice broke the silence.  
Harklight didn’t respond again. He wanted to say something but he was afraid his voice was going to crack and that he would cry in front of her. He didn’t want to seem weak,not in front of anyone. He was Harklight Astraea. He was a strong leader, known as a monster by his enemies.  
“It’s okay. I know you have to be strong for us, so that we don’t lose hope but you don’t have to hide anything. At least not in front of me, or the rest of the gang. Please, what’s wrong.”  
He felt the warm tears in his eyes. He wanted so badly, to hold them back and exclaim with pride that he is the leader of the rebels, who will create a new world for everyone. But what was the point. What was the point of fighting for a world who took away his one happiness in life.  
“Is it because of…?”  
A silent sob escaped his lips but Bianca didn’t shift, or move away. She simply held her firm grasp on his shoulder, and kept looking at him with nothing but concern in her eyes.  
He tried to gather his voice, tried to formulate the millions of thoughts in his head into something coherent, but all he could say was a soft “Yes.” as he let the tears spill down his face and into the ocean.  
Bianca wrapped her hands around him in a hug. Harklight gathered his voice again, he wanted to say something, to thank her, maybe to apologise to her for being so cold in recent days but before he could say anything Bianca cut him off.  
“Chief, I know these 5 months have been hard. They’ve been hard for all of us. The rest of the rebels were devastated and unwilling to fight. He was their hope. He was the only one who got any power, and we all hoped so much. But he was only human after all.”  
The warm tears rolled down his cheeks and dripped into the water. He was. He really was just a human. A boy no older than 17 who just wanted justice for his people.  
“But you did something unbelievable. You gave them the tiniest shred of light in these dark times. You gave them something to hang on to. Motivation. Dreams of a better future.”  
The false bravado he had put up for them wasn’t going to fool them forever. he was weak and grieving just as much as them, he was just better at hiding it.  
The water was still as cold as ever around his feet.  
“I know it’s very hard for you, to carry all of us on your shoulders despite your own grief.”  
She was right, and Harklight knew his shoulders could not carry them for much longer.  
The horizon was still beautiful, but unreachable.  
“I never knew Sir Troyard. I never knew who he was or what he went through. I’ve never known your feelings for him. I can’t understand exactly what you’re going through.”  
That beautiful blue sky, mocking him, taunting him.  
“But I want you to know that you’re not alone. I want you to know that we’re all here for you.”  
Those beautiful blue eyes. those golden locks. That soft, rare smile.  
“If I could bring him home to you, I could.”  
And yet you can’t.  
“You are a strong leader.”  
_‘You’re a liar’_ he thought.  
“Thank you.” he said.


End file.
